MS Maze

“Are you going to write a follow-up book about your experiences with triple-negative breast cancer?” A freelance writer asked me that question during an interview about my book, No More Secs! Living, Laughing & Loving Despite Multiple Sclerosis.

She wasn’t the first person to ask me that question and I wasn’t aware that I had made up my mind until I heard my own voice answer without hesitation. “No. I don’t think I want to do another personal, health-based book. I’ve got my sights set on fiction.”

I went on to explain that I’d already written a series called Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer for Care2.com. I’ve talked at length about myself, and perhaps it’s enough already. But Breast Cancer Awareness Month is around the corner and I know that most people have never heard the term “triple-negative breast cancer.” It’s definitely a topic I will continue to address in my writings.

Having multiple sclerosis taught me a lot about life and about health care. Triple-negative breast cancer was easier to bear because of what I’d already been through, but the medical care I received threw me for a real loop. Multiple sclerosis is a tough nut to crack. At times the medical community can make a person with multiple sclerosis feel as invisible as their symptoms sometimes are. Patients often end up feeling completely alone and misunderstood. It’s a tough disease, and one you have for life.

But cancer … the Big C … breast cancer … my goodness, what a different world. Cancer? We know about that. We can tell you about treatment options, explain them in detail, give you clear choices, and open up our phone lines 24/7. We can tell you stories to make you smile, give you hope, offer you support. Cancer seems to be … well, more tangible, if you know what I mean. People with MS definitely know what I mean.

Now don’t get me wrong — triple-negative breast cancer is a bitch. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I wish I didn’t have it and wish I didn’t have to think about the higher rate of recurrence than from other breast cancers. But I did get it and I did survive treatment, and I am getting physically stronger. It might come back and it might not, but I can’t waste brain space waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Multiple sclerosis taught me a lot, and those who’ve read my book seem to appreciate my efforts. My articles about triple-negative breast cancer have touched a nerve with a lot of women, but I still doubt that a book is the way to go. If there’s one thing I’ve learned for sure in life, it’s that change is constant, so I leave room to change my mind at a later date.

About that fiction … it might be nice, for a change, to write something where I can change the facts at will and make the story go where I want it to go. What fun!

‘No More Secs!’ for Kindle on Amazon
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The morning of September 11, 2001 is forever seared into our nation’s collective consciousness. Horrific loss of life, massive destruction of landmarks, and infiltration of our air travel system rocked our very foundation, shattering any sense of security we may have had.

We’ve had a lot of healing to do, both as individuals, and as a nation. I asked several experts in human psychology how they think we have healed … or not healed in the past 10 years.

Read it: Ten Years Later: How 9/11 Changed Our Nation

Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
(#22 in a series)

“I seize the day much more than I did before, says triple-negative breast cancer survivor Meagan Farrell. “Each day feels like a blessing, so I make the most of it. I’m also much better about letting go of the little stuff. I let things roll off much more easily now as I realize how precious and short life is, and that in the end, most of it really doesn’t matter anyway.”

Read it: Cancer Survivor Says “Let Go of the Little Stuff”

Access all posts in the Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer Series

Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
(#21 in a series)

Triple-negative breast cancer survivor Eileen Fuentes not only lives with a grateful vibration, but generously spreads it around. Now that’s how you turn a negative into a positive!

Read it: Living with a Grateful Vibration

Access all posts in the Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer Series

Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
(#20 in a series)

As a triple-negative breast cancer survivor, there’s a lot I could tell you about the process. In fact, this is my 20th blog post on the topic. But the most important things I want you to take away from this series are really quite simple. I hope you take them to heart.

Read it: 5 Things About Breast Cancer You Should Take to Heart

Access all posts in the Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer Series

Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
(#19 in a series)

You never know what’s going to happen when you find a lump in your breast. You hope it’s inconsequential because most breast lumps are. Mine turned out to be triple-negative breast cancer.

Throughout months of treatment, I remained fairly healthy, if that’s the right word for someone with multiple sclerosis and cancer.

Read it: “Did You Beat Cancer?” they want to know

Access all posts in the Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer Series

Breast Cancer in the News
She was fighting for the right to keep custody of her children despite having stage 4 breast cancer, but the North Carolina Supreme Court ruled against Alaina Giordano.

Ms. Giordano is legally bound to pack up her kids, ages 6 and 11, and send them to live with their father, who now lives in Chicago. “As I write today, I deal with the difficult recognition that my children will have to live 800 miles away from me, until my appeal can be heard. In the wake of this legal decision, my children and I now must grieve the pending loss of each other,” she wrote in a press release.

Read it: Mom with Breast Cancer Loses Custody: Kids Must Go

Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer Series

A murderous spree at a youth summer camp in Oslo, Norway last month ended in 76 deaths. Working methodically, a lone gunman fired at teenagers at a youth camp as their young friends watched in horror and scrambled for safety.

Much has been made about the motives and the twisted psyche of the murderer, but not so much attention has been given to the young victims who survived his rampage. What happens when the vague concept of death and the sense of immortality possessed by most teenagers is shattered in an instance horrific violence? How will they recover from such a nightmare?

For insight into the recovery process, we turned to Ellin Bloch, Ph.D., California School of Professional Psychology, Los Angeles, who specializes in trauma psychology and recovery.

Read it: Norway Shooting Survivors: The Long Road to Recovery and Peace

Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
(#18 in a series)

“Ask a million questions before you start treatment.” That’s an excellent piece of advice from triple-negative breast cancer survivor Nancy Steiler.

The 51 year-old middle-school counselor was diagnosed last November and recently completed treatment. “When your treatment is over, everyone thinks you are fine,” says Nancy. “But you’re not. Inside you still need love and support. It takes awhile to heal in all ways.”

Read it: Searching for “Normal” after Cancer

Access all posts in the Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer Series

Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
(#17 in a series)

After fighting triple-negative breast cancer for a year-and-a-half, 57 year-old Carmelita P died as she lived, with her faith intact and her loving family by her side. Her son graciously shares her story in the hope of educating and supporting families coping with similar circumstances.

Joseph P was 25 years-old when his mother went in for a routine mammogram. As a nurse, Carmelita took annual mammograms seriously. This one was anything but routine and she was soon diagnosed with stage IIa triple-negative breast cancer.

Now 29, Joseph, a Strategic Marketing and Partnerships advisor for nonprofits, does not mince words when speaking of his family’s ordeal, his love for his mother, and his feelings of loss. “We did not immediately fear the worst.”

Read it: Grieving Son Recounts Mom’s Battle with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer

Access all posts in the Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer Series

Told her odds of survival were less than one percent, 31 year-old Alyssa Phillips took up the challenge and set out to beat those odds. Diagnosed with stage IV cervical neuroendocrine cancer, the prognosis was bleak, but her spirit was strong.

Young and married, her hopes of starting a family were dashed in an instant, but there would be no time for self pity. New hopes and dreams would take hold. Now 34, she is not only surviving, but thriving and sharing her inspirational story with the world. She’s gutsy, energetic, and relentlessly upbeat. And she’s a person you should know.

Read it: Inspiration, Survivor, Miracle: An Amazing Life

Image courtesy of Alyssa Phillips

It dawns on me that these people, fairly new in my life, didn’t know me when I was healthy. There is a clear before and after picture of myself that I carry in my own mind. There were people who knew me before and would notice the changes, but everyone I meet from now on will only see the after picture of me. These people never laid eyes on the me who, as a child, walked at such a fast pace that nobody wanted to walk to school with me. I just couldn’t seem to slow down. They didn’t know the woman with a lifelong habit of staying up until the wee hours of the morning, the mother who could play piggyback and tag, or who took the stairs two at a time while carrying a basket full of laundry under one arm and fully loaded school backpack in the other.

Bits and pieces of my life in various stages flood my senses even as visions of an unsettling future intrude.

- excerpt from No More Secs! Living, Laughing & Loving Despite Multiple Sclerosis

No More Secs! is currently available through Amazon for the Kindle and through Barnes & Noble for Nook. We’re working on making the book available in additional outlets, as well as in print. Like life itself, it’s all a work in progress.

Did you know that you don’t need a Kindle or Nook to download ebooks? You can download FREE Kindle and Nook Apps and read it on your PC, Mac, iPad, iPhone, BlackBerry, and Android devices.

If you take a leap of faith and give No More Secs! a read, I hope you come away with a positive feeling. Then I’ll know I’ve done good. If you’ve read it, please consider posting a review on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. We appreciate your support.

Visit the ‘No More Secs!’ website

Like ‘No More Secs!’ on Facebook

‘No More Secs!’ for Kindle on Amazon

‘No More Secs!’ for Nook on Barnes & Noble

‘No More Secs!’ press kit

Breast Cancer in the News

A mother with metastatic breast cancer won the right to keep her children, at least temporarily.

Last month, we heard the shocking story about the North Carolina mother with stage 4 breast cancer who was ordered to hand her children over to her ex-husband, who lives in Chicago. Breast cancer was used as a main reason to deny the mother primary custody. (Mom Loses Custody of Kids for Having Breast Cancer)

Read it: Mom with Breast Cancer Gets to Keep Kids Pending Final Ruling

Access all posts in the Living with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer Series

When I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) at the age of 44, all previous assumptions about health, work, and my new romance were suddenly up for grabs. No More Secs! Living, Laughing & Loving Despite Multiple Sclerosis, is a story — my story — of acceptance and change and a basic truth — good health and life are fleeting, but love and humor trump all. Every second matters, a point driven home by yet another life-altering diagnosis.

How do you plan for life’s second half with a body you’ve never met before? One precarious step at a time.

Read an excerpt from No More Secs! Living, Laughing & Loving Despite Multiple Sclerosis

Image copyright and book cover design: WebCampOne LLC

When I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) at the age of 44, all previous assumptions about health, work, and my new romance were suddenly up for grabs. My memoir, No More Secs! Living, Laughing & Loving Despite Multiple Sclerosis, is a story of acceptance and change and a basic truth — good health and life are fleeting, but love and humor trump all. Every second matters, a point driven home by yet another life-altering diagnosis.

How do you plan for life’s second half with a body you’ve never met before? One precarious step at a time. From the impersonal diagnosis by email to a wedding presided over by a funeral director, this is no tragic tale of woe. Like relapsing/remitting MS itself, the book alternates between the serious (“When I turn toward him, there’s a big hole where his right cheek should be.”) and the silly (“The bocce balls don’t get out much.”).

No More Secs! may strike a chord if you’ve got multiple sclerosis, or love someone who does. Still, it is only my story, not your story, and certainly not THE story of MS. Oh, and it’s not all about MS either. Really. That’s because life marches on whether we feel up to it or not. Mine sure did and, whether or not I’m ready, it keeps on marching.

If you take a leap of faith and give No More Secs! a read, it is my sincere hope you come away from it on a positive note. Then I’ll know I’ve done good. Thank you.

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Buy ‘No More Secs!’ for Kindle on Amazon

Visit the ‘No More Secs!’ website