Appearances Can Be Deceiving
Written by Ann Pietrangelo on September 2nd, 2007 in Emotional Issues, Family, General, Symptoms.
You saw her strutting around just a few days ago. Yesterday, she called in sick, saying she could barely move her legs. Tonight you spot her at the supermarket pushing a cart. What a faker.
He was out at the beach having a great time this morning. This evening he’s cancelled your plans, claiming to be too fatigued. He’s so phony.
She looks as healthy as anyone, but she’s always making excuses to stay home. She’s such a liar.
I get tired too, sometimes, but I just deal with it. He’s making a big deal out of nothing just to get out of chores. He’s just lazy.
I have a friend with MS and she never has any symptoms. It’s just people looking for attention.
Sound familiar? For people with MS, looks can be oh, so deceiving.
There are many people with MS who show almost no symptoms at all. There are others who have only minor exacerbations over the years. Then there are those of us who absolutely can appear to be well, but are screaming internally while struggling with symptoms. I personally can sometimes appear to be perfectly healthy to my co-workers at 10:00 a.m., while looking like something the cat dragged in at 2:00 p.m. Some days I’ve only got a half day in me. Some days not even that, but can rally for an hour or two. Sometimes I can walk five miles.
Hour by hour, day by day, week by week, this is one hell of a roller coaster disease. As bothersome as this may be to friends, family and associates, I assure you that it is emotionally draining for the patient as well. Never knowing what to expect, never knowing how to plan around the difficult times and, worst of all, never knowing which symptoms to plan for.
With Relapsing/Remitting MS, you can’t simply make your peace with your disability and find ways to work around it. The disability itself changes…and changes…and changes.
If you know someone with MS, please be patient. Please give them the benefit of the doubt. The symptoms don’t always show themselves to the casual observer, and that fatigue — it’s a hundred times worse than your imagination can fathom. Chances are, whatever symptoms they’ve admitted to are actually worse than they’ve let on. A little patience goes a long way.
