MS Maze

When reminiscing about holidays past, I can still see the delight on my children’s faces as they unwrapped a much-wanted gift, or the funny little rubber goldfish my toddler proudly presented me with one year. I still have that treasured goldfish. One cold Christmas morning in Chicago, twenty-two years ago, I celebrated with my one-week old son, dressed in red Santa footsie pajamas. I don’t need a photo or video to see every detail.

Just a few years ago a new chapter of my life began and I spent my first Christmas with my husband’s family, where I experienced a feast the likes of which I’d never seen before! Such an abundance of food!

On snowy New England Christmases of long ago, I remember my late father making egg nog with that green Hamilton Beach electric mixer of his, and the orange we kids always found at the foot of our Christmas stockings. I smile when I recall that we didn’t have fancy Christmas stockings. We used the socks we wore. One year I hung up my tights in the hope of doubling my loot. It didn’t work, but it got some laughs. Play-Doh and Etch-a-Sketch. Ham and turkey. Chocolate Kisses and candy canes.

What I don’t remember is whether or not there was dust on the furniture or if the floor was shiny. I don’t remember the state of the laundry room. I don’t have any memories of crushing disappointment because that extra side dish wasn’t on the table. I don’t recall the gifts I didn’t receive or packages that weren’t wrapped just right. I never look back on poor housekeeping on my mother’s part, or my own. I don’t remember any great disaster because someone took a nap or needed a rest.

The memories we carry with us have to do with the simplest things in life. Smiles and hugs. Kind gestures. Breaking bread with loved ones. Some years loss, grief and difficult times will join us at the holidays. Still, we can take away small moments of joy.

Those of us who have a medical condition must be careful not to let that overshadow those tiny treasures, those moments we can cherish for a lifetime. Don’t put pressure on yourself to pull off the perfect holiday. Don’t take on more than you can handle. The best moments will be the ones you can’t plan for. The memories come from something as simple as an orange at the bottom of your stocking.

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